


Here We Go

by Brumeier



Series: Bite Sized Fic 2018 [24]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Closeted Character, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 02:35:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14823600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: LJ Comment Fic for Life Changes prompt:Stargate Atlantis, John Sheppard/Rodney McKay, college AU where both of them are graduating and unsure of what the future holds for their relationshipIn which John chooses to follow his dreams instead of his heart.





	Here We Go

Rodney’s basement apartment was hot, and always smelled faintly of fabric softener from when it had been a laundry room. It was also small and cramped, and the furniture was a hodgepodge of castoffs, yard sale finds, and thrift shop markdowns. John, who’d grown up in a sprawling house on acres of green, manicured lawns, loved it. That little apartment was his happy place.

Or maybe it was just Rodney, who was coming through the door with a bag from the Chinese place down the street.

“Didn’t feel like cooking,” he said as he edged past the green eyesore of a couch and into the kitchenette.

“I don’t mind a break from mac and cheese,” John replied. 

He didn’t bother getting up to help, since there wasn’t room for both of them in the kitchen. Instead he flopped his head back on the couch and watched Rodney pull out plastic forks and napkins. The bag of food got dumped in the middle of the coffee/dinner table.

“You love mac and cheese.”

“Well, eight nights in a row kind of takes the magic out of it.” John snagged the sesame chicken and one of the forks.

Rodney dropped down in the beanbag chair, already reaching for his word processor. He’d been working like a madman on his master’s thesis, which was already a ridiculous hundred-plus pages long. John knew it was about wormholes and wormhole travel, but it was so technical he couldn’t make much sense of it.

John threw the other fork at him. “Eat first.”

Rodney scowled, but he grabbed food instead of the word processor. For someone who complained so much about low blood sugar he often had to be bullied into eating. Scientific focus, he called it. Stubborn one-track mind, said John.

“How’d you do on the test?” Rodney asked with his mouth full.

John shrugged. “Pretty sure I nailed it. Just Econ left to go.”

For the past four years John had been looking forward to graduation. With a BS in Math in hand, he was moving on to the Air Force Academy to fulfill his dream of flying and serving his country the way his grandfather had in World War Two. 

But ever since he’d met Rodney, the light at the end of the tunnel had dimmed a bit because he knew he couldn’t have both; he couldn’t be out and still serve. They had to keep their relationship under wraps, even from their friends, because John knew there couldn’t be even a hint of an alternative lifestyle.

In the back of his mind a clock was ticking down the time he had left with Rodney.

“I was thinking about going out tonight,” he said. “There’s a live band in the Skeller. I can call a couple people.”

“Or we could stay in,” Rodney replied. He gave John a familiar, heated look.

“What about the thesis?” 

“Fuck it.” 

Rodney abandoned his food and levered himself up and out of the beanbag chair. He moved around the coffee table to straddle John on the couch, and John set his food on the floor so he could run his hands up and down Rodney’s back.

“Fuck what?”

“You,” Rodney growled just before he moved in, capturing John’s lips in a fierce kiss.

John hadn’t been very sexually experienced before he started college; he’d had to be incredibly discreet because his father never would’ve supported his son being gay. With Rodney, he’d been able to really explore his sexuality, what he liked and didn’t like and what he was willing to do.

Rodney approached sex like he approached his studies: full throttle and fully focused. John was really going to miss that, so he poured all his feelings into every kiss and every touch.

They rutted together on the couch, slowly working their clothes off between kissing and groping. When Rodney squeezed his cock through his underwear, John moaned into his mouth and jerked his hips up, looking for more friction. His mind was filled with a pleasant hum, nothing to think about but chasing his pleasure.

Rodney stood up and slid his boxer shorts down, freeing his cock, and that was all the invitation John needed to lean forward and wrap his lips around it. He didn’t enjoying giving blowjobs as much as Rodney did, but it was gratifying to hear the sounds that came out of Rodney’s mouth when John worked him over.

“Fuck, yeah,” Rodney groaned. He braced himself with one hand on John’s shoulder, the other buried in John’s hair and cupping the back of his head.

John breathed in Rodney’s musky, masculine scent and tried to deep throat him, nearly choking himself in the process.

“Did finals eat your brain?” Rodney asked while John coughed, drool running down his chin. “Or was that a really ineffectual suicide attempt?”

“Trying something new,” John gasped.

“You're ridiculous. Get on the bed.”

One of the pleasures of getting to know Rodney on a deeper, more intimate level was that John saw a side of him few other people did. Outwardly he was very brusque and biting, his prickly personality an effective way of keeping others at arm’s length. But John knew Rodney could also be very attentive and thoughtful, and even tender when the situation called for it.

“Such an idiot,” Rodney said affectionately as he arranged John on the small bed. 

Once John was over his coughing fit, Rodney kissed him soft and slow, one hand running up and down John’s leg. It didn’t take much for them to get back in the swing of things, cocks rubbing together. When Rodney leaned over to fish the lube and a condom out of the nightstand drawer, John latched on to the closest nipple, tongue swirling as he sucked lightly. Rodney shuddered; he had very sensitive nipples, something John often used to his advantage.

Rodney pulled back, taking the time for another quick kiss before he lubed up his fingers and started to stretch John out, every movement slow and deliberate until John was panting, both hands fisted in the sheets.

“Rodney…please…”

John’s breath hitched in anticipation when Rodney withdrew his fingers. The time it took Rodney to open the package and roll the condom down his cock seemed interminable and John had to fight not to touch himself to get relief.

“Breathe,” Rodney instructed. He lined himself up and slowly pressed inside John, the stretch and burn just the right side of uncomfortable.

“Uhn,” John grunted.

It seemed impossible that he could contemplate leaving Rodney’s bed, or his life, not when he felt so completely himself for the first time in his life. Not even flying could compare to the feeling John had when he was filled by Rodney, surrounded by him, accepted and loved.

When the burn faded, John threw one leg up over Rodney’s shoulder and ground against him, urging him to move. Rodney complied with long, steady strokes that made spots dance in front of John’s eyes whenever the blunt head of Rodney’s cock passed over his prostate.

“I love you like this,” Rodney gasped. “All spread out. All mine.”

“All yours,” John agreed. 

Rodney leaned down to kiss him, and then started snapping his hips with more urgency. It didn’t take long before John was arching off the bed, his untouched cock spurting between them.

“So fucking hot,” Rodney said, his voice ragged. He lost his rhythm and then he was coming too, hips grinding against John’s ass. He collapsed on top of John with a moan. “I think you killed me.”

John huffed out a laugh. “Worse ways to go.”

They lay together like that until Rodney slipped out of John’s ass. John maneuvered himself off the bed and ducked into the microscopic bathroom to clean himself up. He traded the washcloth for Rodney’s tied-off condom, which he threw in the garbage.

John didn’t bother getting dressed. He climbed back in bed, spooning up behind Rodney; it was the only way they both fit. And it was John’s favorite time, both of them loose-limbed post-coital, skin-to-skin, like John could soak Rodney up through his pores.

“Don’t go,” Rodney said softly.

“Nowhere to be tonight,” John assured him.

“No. Don’t go to the Academy.” 

John tensed up, and Rodney carefully shifted so they were face to face.

“I know we talked about this, and agreed never to bring it up again, but…you don’t have to go.” 

“Yes, I do.” John rested his forehead against Rodney’s. “You know I do.”

“I hate you,” Rodney said with a sigh.

“I know.”

John had no idea what the future held for him and Rodney. Maybe they were only meant to have college, and that tiny basement apartment. Maybe they’d have gone their separate ways even if John didn’t go into the Air Force. 

_I’ll always love you_ , he wanted to say. But he just kissed Rodney’s forehead and closed his eyes and fell asleep wishing he could have everything he wanted instead of having to choose.

**Author's Note:**

>  **AN:** Title from the song [Here We Go Again by Everclear](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QQ6ME7wgac), which inspired part of this little fic. Which, if anyone is interested, is set in 1990 (three years prior to DADT).
> 
> Special thanks to SherlockianSyndromes for feeding my love of college AUs!


End file.
